SHE WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES

If you kiss her mind, her body will follow - Pharrel Williams.

Her room always be so dark with low light, just like to lie in bed with a book on her hand. How sensory avoidant. Hating the feeling when someone said "I love you", it's such a poignant phrases. Everybody are loving and adoring her, except herself. She hate herself so much until that extend on every second she breath she feels some unworthiness. At times that life was tough and unyielding.

Be a woman, who always be underappreciated, seeking the unchanging source of understanding, comfort and love. But, she's a lot more fragile than she looks. Be a woman, that not as beautiful as petals but look so awful like thorns.

She always feel to be falling in love is a mournful experience. Righteous hypocrite.

If other women are afraid of their significant cheating on them, she afraid she'll be the one who cheats on her partner. It's not like she doesn't want to get married, but she really can't imagine her own self spending the rest of her life with one person. Won't she get bored?

The idea of committed to someone is pretty scary, how can she give someone a power to wreck her over. Having take care of herself is hard enough already. Why should she add another one too? Maybe not, she'll pass. Yes, She's aware how selfish this rather be. 

She's starring at snow, and she wanna be one. How could it be so cold but beautiful? 

So wise so young, they say do never live long. Is life really worth living? Is she really needed? Can she still hang on, even until tomorrow?

Fallen into a pit so dark, so alone and worthless until she want end it then and there. She's chaotic inside, but her hearth is pure, they said. She know people give love so much to her because she can't fully love herself that much. But, she felt so much until she grow silent.

Writing keep her sane, and maybe books save her life.